everything is alright if i just breathe

Woah i must have knocked out real hard. Woke up randomly at 1am plus and feeling confused. Haha. Left eye still sore and my vision's all blurry. Contemplating stayin home for the day but we have so much to discuss for work. Woke up to a hell lot of messages regardin enrichment centre cases and school closures, etc. Instead of just closing down tomorrow, we'll volunteerily close for the whole of next week first. I would like to say that nothing surprises me anymore but... Let's not say that just incase the universe decides to add a lil somethin somethin ya haha.

I know it might be a strange thing to say this but i feel like i can physically feel my heart healing. Does that make sense to you? Regardless, i am incredibly grateful. Surely with difficulty comes ease. God did not promise us that twice for no reason.

And i'm not sure what's going on (lol do i ever know though) but i also woke up craving Korean food from the coffee shop. I haven't craved ANYTHING for two months or more. And God knows how much i haven't been eating. Is my appetite finally coming back? That can only mean i'm getting better right?

Alhamdulillah :')

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I have decided to keep my hair long. I actually bought Ritual and Transylvania (Arctic Fox) thinkin i'd mix them together, to create a deep red kinda vibe BUT i chickened out. I've always loved being ash blonde. It's either that or just all out jet black. Avoiding black pigments now though considering how damaged my hair is. But hey, just like my heart, my hair texture is healing too. I wish i can add those teary-eyed human cat stickers on here. Wait, can we do that now? I mean, we're in 2021, anythin's possible now no? Haha. I'll find out and check back in.

Anyway, i've never actually tried going for those burgundy red hues. It's more of Yana's colour. I'll prolly just stick to what i'm comfortable with. Plus Asako(?) did such lovely highlights on me and i don't want to waste her efforts by going in with a random strong colour. But friends know me best though. I say this now but i'll randomly turn up with green hair. Haha. How do people put up with me?

How do i even put up with myself?

I don't i guess.

Haha

I need to remind myself to be Positive Patricia this time. God knows i need it.

Sidetrack BUT i love how Chloe (my teen child), responds to Nancy or/and Patricia. Whenever she's being negative (most of the time, really), i'd call her Nancy. And when her rare positive side appears, i'd call her Patricia. I am SO used to calling her Nancy, her newer classmates thought that was her real name HAHA. Andddddd i was looking through various canvases and was delighted to see what she wrote on the back of hers.

"Chloe Nancy Patricia's"

Hahahahaha

How can i not love them all? 

Sigh.