Modern Myth

Plans got cancelled today because my friends fell sick. I stayed home, watched Netflix, cooked and probably fell asleep a couple of times. I did manage to read a few chapters to Cecelia Ahern's "Roar". An absolutely brilliant book that empowers woman. I started reading it on Sunday despite not wanting it to be away from it's plastic cover. I guess i got too excited. I love the smell and feel of a new good book. I NEVER get disappointed with any of C. Ahern's books. I did not want to finish reading it fast so i decided to take breaks in between them. I want to savour every chapter . Sounds a little gross but book lovers will understand. I might have eaten way too much today. I feel worse than an overly inflated balloon. Managed to squeeze out fresh lemons to make multiple cups of lemon juices though. I guess it did make me feel better about myself. Just a little. I'm planning to stay in again tomorrow. I need to recharge. I'm not going to do anything wo...

I always get really anxious prior to ANY concerts but i always leave feeling re-energized and... Empowered ? Attending concerts have been helping me a lot. Old Rainn would never have imagined herself to be around massive crowds, enjoying shows. Even the thought of it would've paralyzed me. Charlie Puth is amazing. Our first time seeing him live and i was so starstruck (i guess i still am ). From Youtube to big stages, touring the world, he is absolutely killing it. Him playing the piano casually with one hand while drinking tea with the other, is such a mood. I'm living for it. Thank you, Charlie. - I could not sleep last night. The humidity is beyond me. It started raining a little this morning but it's too late for me to go back to sleep. Just like that, we've entered a new work week. Holiday period's starting real soon and i am still NOT mentally ready for workshops. I guess i'll worry about it more when the time comes. Started the morning with freshl...

I feel like i need someone to tape my mouth shut in times of need sometimes. I tend to say a lot of things that are meant to be unheard. I might have possibly overshared a little earlier today and there's nothing i can do about it. If i could turn back time, i would. I have been blessed with a lot of good things but i can't help but to feel like i need to achieve more in life than to just remain this way... I don't really know what to do. Same old vicious cycle.

It's really upsetting when people disregard you altogether by talkin over you. Especially talkin over you in another language that you clearly don't speak. It's incredibly rude and disrespectful. I just find it appaling that it has been happening to me way too many times. Earlier on today, i was invited to a group discussion. I immediately left without saying a word when the other parties decide to start talking in mandarin to each other. I could not help but to feel a little angry. I feel like i'm being looked down upon just because i might not be on the same level as the others or maybe because i'm merely a teacher and not a business owner. I try not to think so much about it but it's really upsetting to be completely honest. In the past, people in groups would talk about me in mandarin thinking i could not understand them. A lot of nasty things were shared among each other despite me being in the room. I could understand every word but clearly nobody knew t...

I just finished binge-watching Netflix's Maniac and let me tell you smtg, the show is brilliant. It's dark, a little twisted & trippy but unsurprisingly relatable to me. The show has the whole Mr Robot vibe, i love it. Jonah Hill and Emma Stone played their characters SO well. I felt Owen's (Jonah) lonliness and pain. I can relate to Annie too. I understand what it's like to want to repeat a bad memory over and over again just to feel it. I guess Maniac is tryna tell us to find great importance is human connection as it will, in a way, save ourselves from crippling depression (or other mental disorders). Those people came in, wanting a cure but did all the pills work or was it just in their heads? And was Annie and Owen still in simulation at the very end because of the artistic flairs of the creators? The pills did sort of "save" Annie and Owen but i feel like they saved themselves because of their strong connection with each other. I just found out tha...

The flight to Taipei was horrible, i'm not gonna even lie. I was seated in between Mom and Ferr and both of em took the armrests. It was crazy hot in there but i wasn't too sure if it was the plane or just my extreme body heat. I could not sleep for 5 hours because of how uncomfortable i felt with all the insane rashes and seating position.  Ferr and i was from work a few hours before the flight so it's safe to say that we were completely exhausted. Somehow she managed to knock out before we took off and i managed to stay completely awake and aware of my surroundings. I ran out of rash pills and creams so i had to rely on a random cream i got from the pharmacy. It did relief the itching for a few minutes but that was it. I became as red as a lobster throughout the rest of the journey in Taiwan. I don't know if this is the universe's doing but everytime i travel, i ALWAYS fall sick. I've had these rashes for almost a month already and i have seen a total of 3 d...

" it's okay to be afraid but it will never be the same... " Ellie Goulding's voice still takes me to another place. I hope she makes new music soon. - Rashes are slowly disappearing. It has been a good month of torture . 3 doctors and none of them knew what is going on with me exactly. The latest medications are working so that's something at least . - I'm quite excited for Taiwan. I need a getaway.

My body surrendered to fate. Since today is an off day, there is no reason for me to try . Every couch i've rested on became warm from all the body heat. I just need more rest i guess. Don't we all? Yana's hosting an open house tomorrow and Violet and i are probably gonna go write after that. I really hope i'll be fit enough to even walk tomorrow. Had a late start to the day. Initial plan was to head to the clinic and go to the library afterwards but Kira and i woke up real late. We decided it wasn't worth the hassle. I've been spending the day watching documentaries and random youtubers talking about their lives. Dinner's ready but i'm in no mood to eat. Everytime i get up, my whole body feels even heavier. I want to read but the words make my head hurt more. How do people stay healthy and fit all the time? Wednesday will be different at work. It was the interns' last day on Sunday. They will be dearly missed. I do hope they'll come back t...

I am excited beyond words. Bought tix for Lily, Dee and i to go see him in November!! X

Grateful to have witnessed the heavenly purplish-pink sky as the sun was setting earlier on. I could not believe what i was seeing. Caught it on camera but of course, you can't compare the photo to the real thing. Some things are better seen in real life anyway. I've been writing and trying to produce new works but it has been a real slow progress. I need motivation in pill form. We installed a ceiling fan in our room thinking it'd be a great investment but i find myself wearing lesser clothes to bed. Even then, i'd still be sweating buckets. Maybe we should just get the AC fixed once and for all. It won't look good on the bill but imagine the quality of sleep we could get though. Just imagine. Desperately need to get the room cleaned but everytime i see my bed, all plans are automatically cancelled. I've been sleeping so much, it's kinda scaring me. I used to be the type who would have difficulties sleeping but these days, i could just switch off once ...

And just like that, my Friday has ended. Savoured our mouth-watering cupcakes while exchanging our goodbyes. I wrote Marcus a farewell letter with motivational german quotes. He's going to do great in Germany, i'm sure of it. We're all sure of it . I'm going to have to live through the never-ending questions on his disappearance though. The kids are unsurprisingly obsessed with him. I'm sure they're going to be pretty upset with the news. Oh well. Is there any way i can skip the weekend? I feel like i have so much on my plate at the moment. Visited Dee's new place after work and it's everything. Extremely chic and cosy. She cooked a couple of seafood dishes and it tasted bomb . I would've eaten a lot if i wasn't so bloated though. It's heartening to see how far we have come. To more better days in the future, if God's willing. Change isn't so bad after all.

Grateful to be back home and on my comfortable bed. The giant fan is turned on to it's maximum power and it's directly facing me and I'm in between fluffy pillows. I'm convinced that this is what heaven is probably like. It wasn't so wild at work. Day went by real quick actually. I wish i could divide my attention between kids equally though. I always find myself feeling somewhat unsatisfied with how i've handled a class. I'm working on it though. Everday, i try to better myself one way or another. Once again, slow progress is better than no progress. I'm feeling quite the pressure to be honest. The good teachers are leaving to pursue their studies and soon i'll be alone again. Back to square one. Last day of the work week tomorrow and i'm thrilled. I always look forward to off days. Who doesn't? Planning to do some writing with Violet on Monday. Maybe we'll dine at the Thai food place. Get some good food to fuel us through the day of...