Modern Myth

Crossed borders with Dad's side of the family for the first time ever. Ferr and i seem to always casually bump into our aunt in JB and so we figured, why not arrange a day where all of us could travel together. I've always admired Dad's side because they're all well-travelled, incredibly generous and just very welcoming in general. My sisters and i are socially awkward so we always stuck out like sore thumbs in social family events like chalets or barbecues. Our aunt would be the one chatting us up and bringing everybody together and because of that, i've always looked up to her.  We met real early and it was pouring. Ferr and i had a little Bollywood moment as we sang and walked in the rain towards the bus stop for a bit. We were freezing afterwards but was it worth it? Yes . For sure.  We met Aunt Ani and Tata first and eventually Aini and Aji came along. We took an hour and a half long bus ride to Woodlands and hopped on another bus to head to the train checkpoin...

I can't even begin to explain the exhaustion. I'm grateful to be back home and on my comfortable bed. It has been a long Saturday. Everyone's down with the flu and i'm still recovering from mine. I just need to survive another day at work tomorrow and i'll be away on a break.  -  I don't really get symbolic or prophetic dreams anymore though. Perhaps i still do but i just don't remember them. They're clearly not as signifcant as before.  Or maybe i'm just too tired for anything these days. 

Alhamdulillah for everything. The good, the bad and the in-betweens. X

Today's Raya walk ( lol the literal translation of Jalan Raya sounds off ) has been pretty nice. I've been feeling a little off and uneasy for the past few days so i figured this outing could be a good distraction for myself. From myself. I wish i could explain what i'm feeling in words. I don't know what's causing it or what's triggering it but i'm hoping it goes away soon. I'm tired of feeling uneasy. It's mentally draining. I haven't been writing on here because i've been struggling to string words together. I would type something and delete them soon after. The "Social Media Cleanse" did not work. Or maybe it did in the beginning just like everything else i've tried. It's hard to find a cure for something you don't even know about to be honest. It's currently 4am. I've got to be up by 7am. I'm grateful i'm on the morning shift. I'll get to go home early and hibernate . Sleep usually makes me ...

2019 was supposed to be a year full of self-growth but... I feel like i'm going backwards. I had a cold brew today. Who am i? - It's currently 2.22am and i have to be up by 8am for a meeting at Nafa. I'm not sure what it's called but it's a session full of potential interns presenting their works and themselves . I will probably be asleep with my eyes open. It is an extreme sport that i'm willing to risk. - I need to find ways to really give my 110% to the kids. Lately i feel like i'm at 90ish %. I need to polish my skills for workshops and PF classes too. I've been painting so much that i feel so out of touch with pen drawings. I used to work with a lot of pen and ink during sec school and lasalle days. I used to be someone who hated using pencils but boy, look at me now . I am a changed woman. Haha.  We're entering April already. I feel like we just started March. Where did all the time go? Soon our new studio will be opened and who knows...

2019 has been... Different . But different's good sometimes. I'm grateful for everything, regardless. The good, the bad and the in-betweens. X

I am so happy with " Don't Cry " by Emarosa. They are going for a change in style altogether but when this song came out, i hear a lil bit of 131 and i just... I just love it. I guess one can never fully change themselves completely. There's always that thing or two that makes a person more... authentic ? I don't really know how to explain it but you get what i mean. - My Saturdays are gonna be a lil more challenging at work. I'm taking more classes and i can already imagine the exhaustion. I am already exhausted enough. Will probably head back to Lasalle for a short course (work related ) some time in March or April. I honestly don't know how to feel about going back regardless of the duration of the course. I am still very much traumatised by my entire experience whilst studying there. I'm sure it would be different this time round but ... I don't want to remember how i felt. I can't go there right now.