Dreamy

I've been secretly attracted to Min Yoongi.

not a secret anymore is it now...

Extension

The Circuit Breaker has been extended till 1st of June. I'm not surprised but I can't help but to worry about what the future holds. I am still very much grateful to be home and safe but there is only so much work I can do at home. Perhaps I should start selling things online. A lot of food businesses are flourishing online right now so maybe it is time to get on the bandwagon. 

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Lee Min Ho is back and looking as dashing as ever! Only on episode 2 of The King: Eternal Monarch but i'm already loving it. I love Korean storylines. They're always out of the world and well-thought. The show is giving me Goblin vibes AND the main actress IS from Goblin. KL says my obsession with Koreans is a phase and it will wear off soon. I mean, i am sure it is but till then, i'm just gon keep dreaming of many possibilities. haha.

I used to be like this in primary school when Princess Hours and Boys Over Flowers were popular. I honestly don't know how I got out of that first phase though. haha. I don't mind so much. As long as i'm not hurting anybody, i'm good. haha.

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Currently waiting for my videos to be exported. I have to do it today because I gotta upload them tomorrow. The exporting process takes forever on my laptop and I can't risk doing it tomorrow cause I'll end up missing the supposed upload time. I hope the kids are doing well and staying safe indoors. I don't know how long it will be till I see them again. Insha'Allah this will all be over before we know it.

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Took a break on Ferr's wall that I was painting and decided to draw Suga and J-Hope instead. I haven't been drawing lately and I feel so out of practise. I like the outcome of both despite them not really looking like them but I know with time, patience and practise, i'm able to do a lot better. I'm gonna try to finish the cottage painting tomorrow and come up with many more visual aids for future themes. I would like everyday to be a productive day. There are some days where i'll just sit in all day and binge-watch Netflix series but I have to ensure that the rest of the days will be jam packed with activities. 

Memory Lane

Since the pandemic, i have been doing nothin but reminisce on old videos i used to make when we go traveling. If i were to just say i miss it, that would be an understatement. Was cleaning my room the other day and came across my ancient phone. Decided to charge it to see if it works and it does! Eventhough it runs real slow, i uncovered many vlogs and photos of when we were in Korea and Malaysia.

I remember telling myself that i was never gonna come to Korea again because of the bad experiences i faced but... I take it all back. Perhaps i wasn't paying attention to what was happening around me that much. It was unfortunate that i fell incredibly sick on the 2nd day of the trip. Everything was placed uphill and there were too many flights of staircases! I had lost my voice and i constantly felt  exhausted and heavy. Needless to say, going uphill was the biggest challenge for me. i was breathless for the most part and when i finally got to a destination, i felt punctured and was completely drained of energy to take it all in. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the country. Due to my deterioriating health, i was just not having it. That was not all though. The random and unexpected temperature drops made me want to surrender and fall to the ground. I may not look like i was suffering in those deceiving photos of me all smiley and happy but God knows. I tend to fall ill during, before or/and even after a trip but usually it wouldn't go so bad. Perhaps it was stress from my job i had back then that made me a weakling. I pulled through though. I forced myself out of bed every day because i didn't want it to be a wasted trip. Despite remembering the pain i felt, i remember great moments too. I'm so glad i recorded us being annoying and silly and i'm grateful to have kept all the low-quality videos in my ancient phone.

Lily, Dee, Ferr, Putri and i had plans to go to South Korea end of this year supposedly. Even my family's 2nd trip to Sabah got cancelled. I'm grateful that the airlines gave us refunds but i'm still feeling a little sad over missed adventures. 

2020 was supposed to be a year full of travels. I remember writing that down as my New Year's resolution. I'm sure i'm not alone in this. I guess it will probably be a long time until this blows over. 

I do miss the kids @ work but safety and health comes first. Right now, nobody knows when schools are gonna be safe enough to re-open. With so many people still ignoring the rules of the circuit breaker, it won't be a surprise if this semi-lockdown gets extended. I'm grateful to have a home to comfortably be in during this hard times. I know not many people have such blessings. Also, i feel like i've grown way more introverted than ever. Being indoors isn't a problem for me. I have been home for a full two weeks and i do not feel the urge or need to go out. At all.

I've been creating live videos for short lessons for the kids and i'm currently working on makin more for our official social media pages. Editing videos is definitely not my forte. I'm thankful that Ferr knows how to because i need to learn all of this to survive. Haha.

The other teachers and i have also been prepping future works and themes for the classes. Doing admin works and whatever that we needa do. When we come back, we'll be refreshed and ready to go. I don't want to sound too hopeful but Insha'Allah the situation will ease by June at least. Ever since the Circuit Breaker, the number keeps rising. I know it will get worse before it gets better, just like the use of Retinol lol but it doesn't mean it sucks less.

I hope everyone stays safe. Especially people who still have to go to work. May God bless the doctors and nurses all over the world for their services. In such a difficult period, let's focus on being kind to one another because everybody needs it right now.

Ramadan is going to be so different this year without bazaars and mosques. And i don't even think we can do house visiting when Raya comes. It doesn't affect me as much to be honest, because we only ever go to 1 house during Raya but i can't lie and say the atmosphere is going to be the same. 

I can't quite believe that i'm 25 and in the middle of a pandemic. 

I hope i become even more grateful and grounded after this. Never ever take things for granted and live life everyday like it's the last. Express only positive thoughts, words and actions and always remain kind even to those who is the least deserving. 

We will go through this together.

X

Pandemic

Hey friends.

Who knew 2020 was gonna be like this? 

It's pretty wild to think about how this event will be in future history books in school. 

It seems like the pandemic has brought out the worst in a lot of people. Regular folks are starting to "cancel" celebrities or/and influencers who have said a bunch of things that should not have. I usually try to not be so opiniated about these things (about most things actually...) but i'm shocked to see/hear what have been said online. 

People who have been leading such luxurious lives has forgotten how to be grateful. When the needy gets deserving help from the higher-ups, the blessed feel the need to throw tantrums. Despite the apologies by some socialites, the words have scarred many. I can only pray and hope that people learn to be kind and show compassion especially at times like this. 

I am grateful that I have a home to come back to. I'm grateful to have food. I'm grateful to be in Singapore. Every country has their limitations but when one compares our tiny country to many massive ones, we're actually doing pretty okay despite the frenzy.

Naturally, a lot of jobs have been affected and unfortunately, classes have been suspended which means, unpaid leaves for me. I wasn't surprised when I was updated regarding the matter. It was only a matter of time before all enrichment and tuition centres start to close down. I am incredibly thankful for a boss that understands and cares. In the midst of all of these, she still find ways to help my workmates and I so we could also stay afloat. The govt issue states that the suspension will end on the 30th of April but from now till then, a lot of things can happen. We are definitely hopeful but at the same time, open minded. A lot of centres and gov-based schools are opting for online classes but I don't think it is ideal for us. My workmates and I are currently preparing future projects and creating an array of samples and visual aids so we'll be ready to go. We are going to keep working hard until we're ready to re=open doors. 

If God opens the door of opportunity for me, next week i'll start relief teaching elsewhere,

Insha'Allah. The admin lady who called was very kind and she explained how the pay is going to be low because of the virus situation. I don't mind at all, honestly. Surely anything is better than nothing.

I thought about staying home and doing a bunch of self-caring activities (Netflix, included) but the thought of no pay coming in, sends me out of space.

I have always been a workaholic and I don't mind it one bit. Perhaps a temporary change in environment is good for me. I'll get to learn new things, meet new kids, build relationships and so much more. I would like to believe that these things are happening as a "cleanse". I try to stay indoors as much as I can help myself. I urge you guys to do so too. Only head out when in need. 

May God protect us all.

Stay safe, friends. May we recover from this blow with grace.

x