I'm currently obsessed with "Sempurna" by Naim Daniel. i'm ashamed to be an extremely late fan because he is incredibly good. I'm in love with his songs. I love his vibe. Also, Lily met him and says that he's beyond friendly and engaging.
What more can one ask for?
What more can one ask for?
The long day at work on Saturday knocked me out completely. I fell asleep the moment I got home and woke up the next morning. Ferr says she tried waking me up 4 times before officially calling it quits. The classes didn't drain me but I somehow feel like i'm not at my full potential, if that makes sense. I don't enjoy feeling inefficient and insufficient despite me overcoming crazy obstacles. I guess I feel... small. I know i'm good at what I do but sometimes it doesn't necessarily translate in real life events. It's lowkey making me feel flustered and frustrated.
I'm still somewhat calm I guess. I don't really react upfront. I just let it be and try to better myself each day. Better days are coming, I'm sure of it. Insha'Allah.
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I'm beyond grateful to be on my bed right now. I'm not as tired as before because of all the sleep I got but I still need to rest. Heading out to visit Anisah and her newborn tomorrow morning, out to do a lil studying and writing with Violet afterwards and then dinner with Lily and KL in the evening. I try to fill up my off days with things just so I don't crumble into pieces. Every time I decide to stay in for at least two days, my body and mind just refuses to allow me to head out even if I tried. I can't even explain the phenomenon, Sometimes I just wanna give myself a good kick and be all mighty but nothing much has changed all these years.
I'm starting to think nothing ever will.
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I've had quite a chill birthday this year. 25 and forever grateful for family and friends who are kind, generous and supportive. I think I crossed borders way too many times within the same month. Not complaining though. I love M'sia. haha. Parents got me a cake, as always, and as I was blowing out the candles, Dad asked me to wish for a man.
HAHAHA.
Anyway I finally got around getting myself a new laptop. You have no idea how productive it has been. I've been putting it off because I didn't think i'd need it so much. Now I can do so much more work. I type way faster on a keyboard than I do on touchscreens. haha. I mean, there is nothing wrong with doing work on the tabs, ipads or phones even but idk I just feel like I need a bigger screen. A bigger everything.
I've been doing a lot of self-studying. I forgot how good it feels like to be in a library. haha. Yep, once again, nothing much has changed. I'm still a nerd. Just an older one. Ever since we introduced another new programme to our studio, I feel swamped and stressed out. I gotta learn to trust myself this time though because people are relying on me to do good. I need to excel. I will excel but like everyone else, I need a little more time.
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Naj & Nad got me a recording mic (Yeti) because of my insane obsession with karaoke. SIGH. I don't even know how to express my gratitude when they presented the gift to me. What have I done to have such amazing, generous and kind-hearted people in my life? May God bless every single one who been with me throughout my entire existence in life. I know not many people get the same kind of blessing and for that, I will be eternally grateful.
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I don't really know how to feel about being 25, to be honest.
What am I supposed to even feel?
older?
haha
2020 is gon be a year full of self-care, healing and good opportunities.
i'm sure of it.
x